Thoughts

So beautifully written

noblethemes

Thoughts fly like the wind and bend my mind;
To and fro they go, criss-crossing my brain,
Attacking with no lacking of restless energy,
Centrally located, breathing an elegy for me
Before my time … and they chime midnight
In my mournful soul, filling the vacant hole
That leaves me shaking, sweating and betting
That dawn awakes too late; I’ve taken the bait
Again and lie in pain with no spiritual gain;
Only haunting and demonic taunting over me,
Tossing and turning, burning and churning
With the night with all my might, love out
Of sight, waiting for the light to shine bright
When the sun reaches his height and I shout
And cry for comfort before I sing me good bye,
Yeah … before I die … but then opens the sky,
And I wait no longer to satiate appetite for joy;
Yes, the thoughts are stopped by one…

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Preparing for the rest of my life

Preparing for life for 25 years

I am 24… turning 25 in 6 months or so. I was doing some random counting in my head and realized that I will have lived on this planet for exactly one quarter of a century come October. It was kind of scary and yet, it was a moment of epic clarity into what life is all about.

I was talking with my partner, half jokingly, about the list of cars we would have in our fleet once we got around to it. It was just then that it struck me that after 25 years of life, I have not been living but just preparing to start life. Does that make sense?

I was born, I went to school and college, I learnt how to do different things which would come in useful in life, I learnt about people and situations, I got stronger and calmer.

BUT do you see how life has not even started yet?

I do understand that people from different cultures or even situations have different timelines for this, i.e. for me it is 25, for someone else it is 30 and for others it might be 16. All that differs is how much you and your personality changes as you get ready to take the plunge.

For example, only yesterday, I saw a series of YouTube videos about teen moms, some as young as 15. Her period of waddling is over. She is a mother and a wife/fiancee/life-partner. She has no more trial and errors or learning lessons unless it happens in the life she is in. This obviously affects her life to some extent, the lack of time to have seen enough or learnt enough about the world. She will learn, obviously, in time, but her curve will be a steep one and a hard one where she is less able to protect herself in the beginning. She would come out of it a hardened strong woman or a broken one, but do you see what I mean? Her preparation ran short and life caught up.

I do not intend to say that life means ‘settling down’ or bringing a stop to however your ambitions and aspirations are taking you. As a child or a youngster, you are obviously part of your family or some kind of unit but the moment you are forced to take active participation in keeping it sailing smooth or when you create one for yourself is when you apply what you learnt in the first one-third of your life.

The moment YOU create something bigger than yourself; a family, a baby, a business, that is when the switch flicks on.

Staying too long in this ‘preparation phase’ means missing out on the characteristic happiness of being slightly irresponsible and hopefully young. Have babies before you turn 35, so you will be young enough to enjoy their weddings out of a wheelchair. Take risks and build empires when you can still bear failure and learn from it.

I guess it is important to completely use the preparation time of your life to be able to cope with whatever happens later. I think I did fine and am prepared to create my life and apply things. Am I ready? I don’t know, but who is? I am just excited, nervous and hopelessly hopeful.

Do you get me? Let me know please 🙂

Have a great life peeps ❤

 

The oldest war child of the millenium is 5

Can you imagine knowing a 5 year old child who has not ever seen peace in their life? Born amidst war and terrorism, these 5 year old kids are the first of the children being born into a strife filled world.

This year, 2016, sees the fifth birthdays of these children and they have never blown out a candle or had plans to have a birthday party. Fear of bombs which killed their classmates at school and the constant reverberation of bombs is their party tune.

When the children in safer countries (I say safer, because the spindly arm of terror is almost everywhere now) see kids on the news fleeing with their parents or floating up dead on seashores, I do not feel completely hopeless. No, I am not crazy and I know the world might very well be going to the dogs.

The beacon of hope I see here is from these very children and their counterparts elsewhere. Today, we have a chance to ensure this never happens again. Never should a child or adult be subjected to such terror, confusion and helplessness in the basic need to survive.

If we tried a teeny little bit, every one of us that is, we could make war extinct in the mind of the future generations. No one should start terrorizing or join a terror war. No one should blame races or religions for the singular acts of maniacs. No one should give up on a world that will never know war again. This is what I mean by extinction. The only weapon we have to do this is what we see and hear, and our projected perception of these.

Teach your children and your siblings about how horrible life is with war. Take them to refugee camps and show them what is not granted to kids who could be their friends. Talk down people who distinguish on race, culture or religion because when time passes, you could be the one being persecuted for all the wrong reasons. Teach them to trust and to forgive. Teach them to always seek answers till there are no more questions. Tell them how these kids have never been able to sleep one night without being afraid for their life.

Doing all this will ensure that we create a first level of hesitancy to accept hate, a second level with the need of investigation into the theories of terror and the third stage of courage to fight against all things wrong. Create your own superhero. If you do this, I promise you the world will never know war after we have left.

We must prepare to be the last ones left in this shit hole we have created for ourselves. If every one of us spoke at our dinner tables, we could make a change, we could make war extinct. Think about it.

I would love a discussion. 🙂

If you want to know more on how to help, start here 

Be happy ❤

Nerd Girl

It’s not just okay to be you, it is amazing to be you 🙂

DailyDabbles

Bookworm, Weirdo, Loser, Quiet, just a few of the words some people use. Growing up, I was always considered “different” My parents enrolled me in a small, private school filled with rich kids. I was the kid with frizzy hair and a bad fashion sense. I liked going outside and searching for bugs more than anything. I was an only child and not used to a lot of social interaction. I can vividly remember even as early as the fourth grade, being “cool” or “popular” was a big deal. A new girl came to our school, and quickly found her place. She was outspoken, girly, so she was easily accepted. I went on through school, quickly seeing how the other kids viewed me. It used to bother me that I didn’t shop at the places they did. They wore Sperry’s and Hollister shirts. I was wearing weird patterned shirts and…

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I am a believer

At any another time, reading this title on a blog post, I would not register anything at all. I left it that way to say ‘Hey’ to other like-minded souls out there.

There are friends and family who told me that you would get what you want if you believed in this God, or went to that shrine or said a particular prayer. They all seemed to stand by it and I did not know which God to please or which stone to turn to for things I wanted to achieve in life. And finally, I think I have arrived at an answer, all you need to do is that, WANT.

I believe that if I truly want something in life, be it something round the corner anyway or something that seems out of my league; if I want it enough, I will get it. So will you. I am not talking about situations handed out to you or day-to-day activities. The things that will turn your life into something you want is the big picture here. Destiny may be written but you have all the power in the world to rewrite it if you want to do so.

It is not enough to wish for it or dream about it, but is definitely a start. You need to let go which may be scary or downright crazy. You need to do things that you would not normally do. Show the universe that you really truly want that something. And when I say ‘something’, I mean a particular want.

You can’t get anywhere if you have too many options. Pinpoint the one thing that will bring meaning to your life and constantly strive towards it. It will take time, may take years before you get what you want but rest assured that you WILL get it. You may not understand the path, you may feel you are going in the absolute opposite direction but as long as you are focused on what you want, the destination will make up for all of it.

You are as powerful as you think you are 🙂

 

Keeping my word…to myself

How do you keep promises to yourself? Tell me 🙂

I have never had a problem keeping my word to others; friends, family, bosses. I do what I say, when I say and I try my best to keep it. This habit of mine makes people in my life very confident about me. What I am not sure about however, is whether I am confident in me.

Staying in line with my previous post, I now know that this is all part of a vicious cycle and I need to get out of it. At the end of the day, people are going to come into your life and leave as well, by strife or death. The only person, apart from God, that you need to answer to is yourself.

I am not that bad, y’all. I do wake up and go about life. I do my best to make every day count. See, am I already lying?

Being truthful to myself, I know that it is not enough. What I do is nothing really. I could do so much more. I never say it out loud and think about it. I lie to myself that I am doing literally everything possible when I am not. Be it my career (which hasn’t really taken off yet), my body goals or my relationships, I do not think I am giving my 100%. There, I said it, it is on record.

Why this blog post, the amazing fellow writers who read my posts may ask. I don’t really know, honestly. I think this is one bread crumb of vulnerability on the trail to contentment, maybe 50 years forward. I want to be honest and to write is the best way to be so. I want myself to acknowledge that the sky is really the limit and that I am not even off the floor with my efforts.

Have you guys felt this way? How did you overcome this, how did you make more of what you have? How did you stick to fulfilling promises to yourself?

Waiting ❤

What do you think of me?

To remind me that I am enough and that you are too

This question has bugged me, keeps bugging me and I am seriously scared that it will keep bugging me for a long time. No, I am not asking one person, but everyone I meet. And no, I am not creeping them out by asking them outright.

All my life, I have been concerned with what people think of me; the way I talk, my grades, my relationships, me. Thankfully, I have not had issues with body image and I am grateful to my parents for inculcating in me a sense of how beauty or rather perceived beauty is short-lived.

I now know that I am the most confident and secure at home. With my parents and my brother, I am funny, kind, horrible, loud, lazy and all those other things that make me who I am. Outside I am confident yet humble, hard-working, likable which also is part of me. But the most concerning part is where I can easily conform to how one person or a group needs me to be. I am like a nice Boggart, I will be who you want me to be – custom made.

Recently, I have been struggling with this because at times I am fighting the person that I become for others. So much so that I am scared I will forget who I am really.

I do not know how to deal with this though I have managed to cut off certain people who force me to go against the grain.

This blog post will document for all time to come who I really am for me so I can come back and look at it on this journey – I love the real me…

I am an extrovert but I like being alone too, I need people who love me to tell me that they do, I am a performer and I love performing, I hate crying and love being happy, I am lazy at home but hardworking elsewhere, I can be a bitch but I never am unless I am at home, I love my family, I love my partner more than being alive and I believe that being nice and being in love is all that is required for bringing a smile to my face. I am an ordinary girl with extraordinary dreams and it is not wrong to dream so. I love children and the prospect of being a mom. I like being free and happy and I detest fake people and frenemies.

I love who I am and this should remind me of who I am above and over anything that life throws at me. I am enough, being me is enough.

The purpose of it all

What is the purpose of it all?

A quarter of my life is almost gone…almost a third or less going by current expectancy rates. Today under a lot of pressure and irritation, I realized that time is running out.

But then, time for what? To die, to live? To love? To be happy? What does it mean to be happy? A life full of love or a life full of dreams fulfilled.

Do I have the right to dream so high, why not? Why am I in me, why me? What is the purpose of it all?

Today, someone laughed at me and my dreams, someone whose opinion doesn’t matter. My father said you are still young, alive and strong, what more do you need to dream and get your dreams.

I replied, at 24, if you laugh at how I want to save the world, I can smile. In a year, if you still laugh when I have not started, will it be funny still?

What is the purpose of it all? To be born, to live, to learn, to succeed, to dream…if it’s all in vain?

I am no Einstein or Mother Teresa. I am not breathtakingly beautiful or exceedingly brilliant. I am easy to forget but that does not matter to me.

But I breathe, I live, I love… I am not simple neither am I extraordinary but I am me. All I want to live my dreams, my ordinary dreams. All I want is to be happy to have lived but how? What is the purpose of it all?

Dona